there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
