Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
