You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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