The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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