You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
