I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
