John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
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How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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