Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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