Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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