we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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