Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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