i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
