Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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