Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize