I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
