i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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