you turned your livingroom into a bong?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
