If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
