Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
