So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
