I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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