At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
