Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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