I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
