So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
