the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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