At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
