Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
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I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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