Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
