I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
