I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
