It's like God shit irony all over that family
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
