At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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