yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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