oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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