i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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