Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
