Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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