Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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