I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
