We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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