Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
