Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
