Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
