so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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