I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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