We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
