it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
