she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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