so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
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I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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