u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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