I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need to calm my uterus...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
