Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
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Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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