Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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