we have pet lesbian snakes
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
