Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
