Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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