my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My vagina is very pro this idea
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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