Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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