Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
