I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
